Love shouldn't hurt...

Ok so Today Ima talk about a topic that might annoy some of you but then it might interest many of you...DOMESTIC VIOLENCE is the most disgusting act someone can do to the person they "love". It's sad how people believe that it's a way of punishing or reprehending their loved ones. Women are not the only ones getting beaten or abused physically and/or emotionally. Believe it or not, 40% of domestic violence is suffered by men. Yeah yeah I know you must be thinking "well women's percent must be wayyy higher than that" and you're right but look at this video and I know it's gonna leave you thinking...

I hate how we only hear stories about women suffering from domestic violence like that shit is not fair... In the story "Like A Winding Sheet" by Ann Petry we can see how she talks about women being abused once again. The main character in this story kept telling himself he would never hit a woman because a woman could never hit as hard as him but in the end, he hurt a woman that was so close to his heart who he supposedly loved. Can someone please explain to me how is this love? How can someone possibly hurt their "loved one" so badly and make them feel so worthless...It makes me mad and it frustrates me to see these kinds of situations that occur on a daily basis.. people SPEAK UP! I don't care if you're a guy and you think you're too tough or too manly to admit that you are being abused by your girlfriend! Be a man and seek for help instead. 

There's also a poem that I read and it's called "The Mother's Tale" by AI. The Mother in this story tells her son to beat up his wife often and this way she'll be a good wife to him.. Am I the only one thinking WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS BITCH?! Is she being serious? how can she tell her son to do that? would she want her husband to do that to her? I'm sorry...this made me mad af because it really is sad and frustrating that women are fighting with one another when we could all be working together as a team. Okay but that's another subject completely different so let's stick to the main idea of this blog which is men being victims of domestic violence. We don't see this kind of issue being supported in this poem, do we? I mean his mom is telling him to beat up his wife and that this way his marriage will be successful... I bet she was abused by her husband too and she wants everyone to experience that? Why can't she just teach her son to respect and love his wife without domestic violence... How is domestic violence going to better his marriage, something doesn't add up here..or what do you guys think?

I read a book last semester about domestic violence in men and this subject kind of fascinates me in a sense that it makes me wanna do something about it to change people's mentality about this issue. The book was called "Abused men, The hidden side of domestic violence" written by Philip W. Cook and he explains his point of view in this terrible issue so I recommend you guys to read it if this is a subject that interests you as much as it interests me.

You guys wanna know what else is sad? when a woman hits a man everyone says "He probably deserves it" or "yes girl keep going" but when a man hits a woman people say "how cruel and abusive" or "what a piece of shit"... this leaves me thinking.. how fucked up is our society that woman are allowed to hit men and it's completely normal and it was probably the guy who did something to deserve that.  

I'm gonna tell you guys a story that I find absolutely interesting and sad at the same time... I know someone who suffers from domestic violence but was too blind or too "in love" to realize that he was being abused by his girlfriend. At first, I would talk to him about it and he would say "I'm bigger than her If I wanted I would hurt her" He didn't believe he was in an abusive relationship. He was basically in denial. He would always say "men don't suffer from domestic violence". He was so ignorant and oblivious and it just made me mad to see him like this. One of the answers that I found most disturbing or aggravating was "my girlfriend is emotionally abusive, manipulative and controlling but I just can't leave her because I love her and part of me still care about her funny and sweet side since that's the reason I fell for her years ago". UGHHHH tell me if that doesn't make you madddd.. like he truly loved her and that's how she treated him? I'm just glad after 3 years he was able to leave that toxic ass relationship that was hurting him so much and now he is happy and free. I know I know many of you must think he was lucky to get out of that relationship but most men stay trapped in it, well if you suffer from domestic violence don't stay shut, don't hide it because its just gonna kill you... literally! 

This goes for males and females. Don't stay in a relationship just because you feel like you have to, hope they will change, or still love them for who they were before. People change and you just need to know when to put yourself first. Imagine giving your all to someone and they just take advantage of you, use you, manipulate you, and abuse you. If you stay with them after all that, you need to reevaluate your life. You're better than that. You don't deserve this shit. Put yourself first always. It's okay to be selfish if it means taking care of yourself, putting yourself first, and staying safe. Think of it this way... how would your mother feel if she found out you were being abused? She wouldn't like that obviously so don't put her in that position to feel that way. STAY STRONG. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.



Melissa F.