If That Ain't Love (Then I Don't Know What Love Is)

Domestic Violence... a very touchy topic in the world with mixed opinions all around.

Lets start with a little definition:

Domestic Violence - the act of either physically or verbally abusing your partner in patterns. So no, this isn't just a once in a while event. There begins to be points in every relationship where the partners argue, but confrontation is a part of life, nobody is perfect. But there begins a time where the problems arise from almost nothing and it becomes to be felt as emotional abuse.

The severity of the domestic violence varies in each situation, but it stems from insecurity and the need to maintain power and control over one another. Domestic Violence can lead to suicide, physical injury and scaring, and low self esteem/emotional instability.

The problem with this is that its not always evident who has these intentions on harming someone, until the two people get deeper into emotions with each other. The deeper you dig, the more you find out about a person obviously, so someone could seem so perfect for you in the beginning, but once the feelings evolve, true colors show.

Lets be real, Domestic Violence really shouldn't be taken lightly, for both male and female. Some men are abused by their women but are afraid to speak up because they don't want to seem weak or inferior. Look, regardless of who you are, if you have someone who is crazy as hell trying to dictate your every move, they make you question your life in a negative way, and they do nothing to make you feel safe and secure, then why are you stuck with that person? If you are in an abusive relationship, speak up. Don't allow yourself to be a victim, you are the controller of your world, nobody else. 

One of the worst factors about domestic violence is denial, when a person is too deep in love to admit that their partner is in the wrong for scolding them for behavior they found to be inappropriate or offensive. A person in denial will make up excuses as to why their partner physically/verbally harms then, claiming that maybe they did do something wrong to anger them. Some people will cover up the truth because they are either embarrassed or don't want to ruin the other persons reputation. 

A short story called "Like A Winding Sheet" discusses this barbaric feeling this man got one day, where he could no longer hold in his anger, as he was fed up with three women he encountered. The first encounter was when was at work, his boss, Mrs. Scott, had also been in a crabby mood when she mistakenly called Mr. Johnson a "nigger"... yes, with the hard -er. Now it's not clear what her nationality/ethnicity is, but regardless this really ticks him off and he feels disrespected. During this encounter with his boss, hehad his fist clenched as if he were ready to swing on her, "but he couldnt bring himself to talk to her roughly or threaten to strike her like a lot of men might have done. He wasnt made that way," (Petry 1499). Luckily, he let the anger slide. Later that day, he was trying to get coffee, but the lady had ran out and he wasn't able to buy any which really pissed him off.  he was seconds away from striking this woman, but he kept his composure and went about his day.

Now later on when he was home, his wife had set him off. He did the unthinkable, he started to beat her. Earlier in the story, the author made it seem like he would never put his hands on a woman, but his anger got the best of him and he hit her multiple times. I feel as if he waited to take his anger out on his wife because she might not tell, she'd probably the problem between them two and not tell the cops. If he were to hit one of those other women out in public, he most likely would have went to jail, but since its behind closed doors, he got away you.

Male or Female, it isn't right to put your hands on anyone to express your anger. Theres always a way to resolve problems by talking it over, don't turn your issues physical. It doesn't matter who you are, everyone in this world should be granted equal power and an equal voice, nobody should overshadow anyone. Don't be a victim of Domestic Violence, it may seem like a passing problem at first, but the problems will only continue to grow. Don't surround yourself with toxic people who don't care about your well being, be around people who wish the best for you, and promote your safety and happiness.

Words hurt just as much as fists and guns, just because a person doesn't speak up about their feelings, doesn't mean they aren't affected, they're just afraid of seeming weak to others. Instead of worrying about what others think, worry about your safety. Do not continue to let yourself seem vulnerable to anyone, whoever it is, speak up and look for help. Disconnect yourself from negativity.

-Terrel