Domestic violence is a topic that should not even exist. Why hit? Why abuse? Why get physical? It's one thing to argue with your spouse/ significant other but to lay a hand on them is another thing. No one can ever say that it is their right to handle their spouse or partner however they want to do so because it is NO ONE'S right to abuse anyone. I strongly believe that if you lay a hand on your significant other, you don't love them. You're just sick. And I don't mean play fighting or messing around... if you hit them to purposely hurt them or because "you had a bad day" and they were annoying you, you don't love them. Not at all. No one deserves that treatment.
There's a story called Like a Winding Sheet by Ann Petry which is about domestic violence. There's a married couple and when the husband woke up, he didn't wanna get up for the longest time. Before going to work, the couple argued and the thought of hitting his wife was in his mind but "he could never hit a woman." He goes to work not in the best mood and his boss, which is a woman, yells at him for being late and she calls him the n-word. He yells at her and the thought of hitting his boss was in his mind but "he could never hit a woman." He was angry for the rest of his shift and when it was over, he went to a cafe and when it was his turn to order, the barista said there was no more coffee for a while. He thought it was cause he's black and the thought of hitting the barista was in his mind but "he could never hit a girl." He gets home and he's tired. He sits on a chair where his wife's overalls are and she orders him to get up cause he's gonna wrinkle it. He refuses to get up and while she's talking, he doesn't hear the humor in her voice and the thought of hitting his wife was in his mind...... and he did. He hit his wife in the mouth repeatedly. Reading this story actually got me thinking. Why say you would never hit a woman but do it anyway? Actions speak louder than words obviously. It doesn't matter how tough your day was; you should NEVER hit someone, especially your significant other.. This goes for men AND women.
I don't know if this is sexist or not but why are so many women scared of their husbands or men in general? Since when did men start hitting and belittling women? I know some women are violent towards men too but if you google "domestic violence" you won't really see men as victims. You'd see women with bruises, women trying to defend themselves, women getting hit, etc. You hear the term "domestic violence" and would typically think it's the woman getting abused by the man right? I don't know why it's like that or why that ever became a thing. Probably because some people think men are more superior and better than women? It's sad that some people actually believe that a woman can't be better than her husband when in so many cases, they are. This probably sounds contradicting to my last sentence but everyone is equal. No one is better than the other. A husband isn't better than his wife and a wife isn't better than her husband. With that being said, you are not better than anyone so you have NO RIGHT to lay a hand on them. Don't get violent.Do some people actually condone domestic violence? I read a poem called The Mother's Tale by AI and let me tell you, it was one of the most disturbing things I have ever read. To keep it short, this poem is about a mother talking to or writing to her son on his wedding day telling him he's better than his new wife and basically that men are better. She specifically tells him "You must beat Rosita often." ....why.... Why tell your son to beat his new wife? Why condone that? What kind of mother encourages and tells her son to beat his wife? In the beginning of the poem she says she saw her husband dancing with another woman so she cut him across the cheek with a pocket knife... for what? Maybe the reason why she's telling her son to beat his wife is because she used to be abusive towards her husband... but still that makes no sense. I don't agree with one word of that entire poem. It's insane. A woman, or anyone, should NEVER encourage domestic violence or abuse ESPECIALLY for their children.
One time I saw a video of an experiment to see if anyone would help. There were two actors being recorded, a man and a woman (husband and wife), and they were arguing. The woman was talking to her husband in a quiet tone, not trying to bring attention to them. Meanwhile her husband was yelling at her and making a big scene in public. She was trying to get him to calm down and lower his voice but that was only getting him angrier. He kept telling her to get up so they could "finish this at home" but she didn't want to. She didn't want to go home with him.. it was obvious. Then a man noticed the whole argument and stepped in. He told the husband to go home alone or else he would call the cops. The bystander would not allow the wife to go with her husband to "finish this at home." He knew that could mean something bad, which could end in violence.
Personally, if I see a couple arguing and feel like someone could get violent, I don't feel comfortable leaving. If I saw someone about to get violent, I would call the cops or someone. I was never one for confrontation but I would definitely call someone for help. I know it's none of my business whatever they're fighting about but if I didn't do something as little as calling for help, someone could've been hurt.
Don't be a bystander. You never know... you might have just saved someone's life.
If you are being physically abused, you really should get some help. You need to stay safe.If you are the one physically abusing someone, you really NEED to get some help. You need to be locked up.
If you have kids and are in an abusive relationship, get out of it for your kids. Your kids know more than you think and they see what's going on. They can tell when something is wrong and they can sense the tension. Get them away from the unsafe environment and raise them to never lay a finger on another person.Some people in marriages are scared to get help for reasons I will never understand. I personally would encourage every single domestic violence victim to speak up and get the hell away from the person hurting them. No one deserves to get hit no matter what they do. As cliché as it might sound, violence is never the answer.
Andrea I.
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